NEEDS

January is Mental Wellness Month, and also the start of the new year. In other words, it's a good time to look at what you need to make this year, or even this week, as balanced and positive as possible. One way to think about how we create balance and positivity in our lives is to look at our varying needs and to assess how well those needs are being met. 
Think of needs as ever-evolving and as balance as something we are constantly working on. It's like driving down a straight road: you still find yourself adjusting the wheel slightly to the left and right to stay straight. So you will find yourself always making slight adjustments here and there to find the right balance. 

TYPES OF NEEDS

There are many different types of needs that humans have. 

PHYSICAL: Of course, we have our basis physiological requirements for human survival, such as air, water, food, clothing, shelter, and rest. As basic as these seem to be, life gets busy and other needs and demands can get in the way of even our most basic of needs. So ask yourself, am I getting enough rest? Enough water? Even enough air? 
You might try setting an alarm on your phone to remind you to take breaks during the day to do some deep breathing or to take a sip of water and check in with yourself. 

SOCIAL: My favorite kind! Social needs include such things as love, acceptance, belonging and connection. Some of the things that satisfy this need include: Friendships, Romantic attachments, Family, Social groups, Community groups, religious institutions or organizations. It can be tough to carve out time for this, so try even shooting a friend a text and telling them to have a good day, or making plans weeks in advance as sometimes is required when you are adult-ing. 

INTELLECTUAL: Intellectual needs refer to the need to stimulate curiosity and exploration of the world and of topics of interest. Ways to get this need met are: Reading, Writing, Taking classes, Discussing/Debating with others, Listening to podcasts, Joining a book group. I often throw a podcast or an Audible book on while driving or exercising, and love reading the same books as a friend or family member and casually discussing the book when we're both finished. 

CREATIVE: Creative needs include the need we have to express our inner experience in different ways, including engaging in our own creative outlets (art, dance, writing) or viewing others' creative expressions (going to a museum or show). Again, you can combine several needs by engaging in a creative endeavor with a friend or partner. 

EMOTIONAL: My other favorite! Emotional needs involve anything that helps us to process and acknowledge our emotions appropriately and manage our emotions in a way that is effective in our lives. This can include journaling about our feelings, identifying and honoring emotions, communicating to others about our emotional needs and asking for what we need, going to therapy, allowing ourselves time and space to process and prepare for difficult emotional situations. There can be major consequences for not making space for this need! 

SPIRITUAL: Spiritual needs are what we need to connect with a higher power or with the universe around us. They are what help us to find or create meaning in our lives and put our lives into perspective. Ways of getting these needs met: connection with a set of religious or spiritual beliefs about the world and life; giving back to the community; turning pain into a fulfilling or meaningful experience. Therapy or meeting with a spiritual or religious leader in your community are great ways of processing and clarifying what this means to you. Or, start by reading 'Man's Search for Meaning' by Viktor Frankl. 

MYTHS ABOUT NEEDS: 

Now, let's explore some myths about needs that might be helpful to debunk: 

1. MYTH: I should sacrifice my own needs for the needs of others. 
TRUTH: Sure, sometimes we have to do this, and that's ok. Yet make sure you are not ALWAYS doing this or your relationships will become filled with resentment and you will have no sacrifice left in you. 

2. MYTH: Having needs means I am weak. 
TRUTH: All humans have needs. Every moment of our lives we have needs. 

3. MYTH: Asking for what I need is selfish. 
TRUTH: Asking for what you need is assertive and helps others to know how to support you better. You might have to understand that you will not always get your needs met, but it is OK to ask. 

4. MYTH: If others can't meet my needs it means they do not care about me. 
TRUTH: We cannot always meet the needs of those we care about, and this also means we are human. Everyone has their limits and has the right to say no. 

5. MYTH: Those who are close to me should know how to meet my needs. 
TRUTH: Others cannot read our minds, no matter how much they care about us. We have to explicitly tell them what we need. 

Have any other myths or a variation of one of the above myths that gets in your way? Post it here so I can add it to my list!